Chapter One. Small Kindnesses, and Gratitude.

Yom sheni, 17 Shevat 5770.

As I sit cuddled up after my nice hot bath, awaiting the arrival of Abba's bonsai tree, while putting the finishing touches on an editing job about marriage...  I am compelled to write to you, my dear sons and daughters-in-law, about what makes marriage work for Abba and me.

You see, it's these very things that make me feel the need to write.  

In the marriage article, written for people whose marriages are "on the rocks," bonsai trees and heated dressing rooms are suggested, as means to save the marriage.  

Not exactly these details, mind you.  But taking care of each other, in ways Abba and I are blessed to have figured out, so as not to need the "couples retreat." So here for you are suggestions One and Two:

When your wife gets out of the bath, surprise her with a small space heater set up in her normally 10-degree Celsius bathroom.  (Wifey, when you snuggle into your nice, warm bathrobe, be sure to remember to mention his kindness!)  

Dear DIL, (forever after referred to as kallah, for reasons I will discuss later), when he mentions a passion he's always had -- such as a bonsai tree -- try to make it happen, when financially feasible.  (Son-of-mine, when your dear wife goes to the bother and expense, be sure to say "Thank you!" with full eye contact.)  

These suggestions may seem overly simple.

But they are good starters; and judging from what the therapist had to say in the small book he asked me to edit, there are many, many people for whom these ideas are not intuitive.  And I want so much for you to be survivors, in this Era of Divorce.

Adore each other.  You have my brachot for success!